Burt Starr’s Legendary Deadlift Workout
"Burt Starr's Legendary Deadlift Workout, the Workout that Built the Man Who Deadlifted 780 Pounds" is a phrase plastered on the cover of a book, the banner of a website, the walls and mirrors of gyms across the world, and Burt Starr's own office door. His office is a small grey drab room in the corner of his gym, Burt Starr's Barbell Club. Inside, Burt Starr sits on a plastic folding chair, in front of an ancient Dell computer on an otherwise-bare desk.
The monitor reads, "Burt Starr Will Be Teaching His Legendary Barbell Workout At These Times."
He cannot remember when he wrote the words. They seem alien, like a command from a disembodied voice. One of the entries on the schedule is today's date, followed by 11:00 AM. He glances at the clock on the corner of the screen. It is 10:55.
Next to the announcement is a photo of himself. He is deadlift-ing: his muscles are tense and rippling, his veins bulge, and on his face is a look of pure concentration and determination. He turns the screen off quickly. In the cold black emptiness of the monitor, he sees himself again. This time, Burt Starr's face looks exhausted rather than determined. In the old days, he wouldn't have accepted this posture even if he was holding 780 pounds.
Rising laboriously from his chair, he opens the door. His students for the day are already waiting for him. They stand in the center of the gym, behind a wall of dull grey barbells resting on
45-pound plates. The five students, all men, puff out their chests as he approaches, as if he is a drill instructor and they are sol-diers.
He tells them to start warming up.
"This is the kind of workout that will put some hair on your chest."
He always says that. The barbells begin to rise and fall, and Burt Starr is once again surrounded by their sharp metallic clangs, a sound as familiar to him as any he has ever known, like the bittersweet embrace of a former lover.
Walking to the side of the group, he checks their form. One man is starting with his hips too low - failing to generate adequate hip drive. Burt Starr decides to demonstrate the deadlift himself to correct him. He has his hands locked tightly around the weight before he notices the two plates on each side. He panics as fifteen years worth of muscle memory kicks in, and he feels a sharp pain in his back before the weight has even reached his knees. He grunts in pain as he finishes the lift, and drops it, making a loud crash. The students all stare at him.
"Anyway, you get the idea," he says, turning towards the wall to conceal the tears forming in his eyes.
There is a brief pause, and then the men go back to lifting the barbells. He is afraid to look at them, instead staring at the sign on his office door. The phrase the Workout That Built the Man is suddenly distasteful.
He wonders if the men are all laughing at him. He hears the voice of one behind him, and is about to whip around and yell
"What?!" when he hears what the student is saying. "Can you help me with something?"
Burt Starr tries to conceal his surprise. He wipes his face subtly with his hand and follows the student to his barbell. He has been encountering a sticking point about halfway into his deadlift.
Burt Starr watches him and quickly diagnoses his problem.
"You're pulling too explosively," he says. "You have to resist the urge to go as fast as possible. Take your time and get yourself tight and in good position before you pull."
Burt Starr stares at the student, and suddenly it seems that he is staring at himself, Burt Starr, the Man Who Deadlifted 780 Pounds. Burt Starr claps Burt Starr on the shoulder. "You'll hurt your back pulling like that. We want you to be in this for the long haul." The student nods enthusiastically and sets up more carefully. This time he pulls the weight slowly but smoothly. The sun comes in through the windows, and Burt Starr feels, for a moment, proud. He knows that even though his hands won't be on the barbell anymore, Burt Starr will still be lifting the weight, somewhere, for a long time.
Daniel Sipes