I am Alive

I am still alive this morning, so I wake up.

My first thought is to gather food for my children. I must feed them so they can stay alive. But then I remember my children have already gone. Quite a while ago, too. They gather their own food now, or at least I assume. I have not seen them in some time. I am sure that they are rather good at gathering food and that they are still alive because I taught them, and I am good at gathering food, because I am still alive. If they are as good as me, they must still be alive. This pleases me.

Instead, I shall gather food for myself. I shoot into the air, but not too high. I am small, and there are things bigger than me that would gather me for food. Food to keep them alive. I would be upset if they gathered me. If they ate me. But I would understand. I gather things that are smaller than myself. I eat them. However, I am alive, and I enjoy living much more than being eaten, so I will avoid them until I am caught. I am a small creature, and I am very good at avoiding things.

I find a bush in no time at all. I land deep inside, out of sight, and begin to eat berries. I have no one to feed, so the berries are all for myself. This pleases me. While I am eating, someone else flies into the bush and begins to eat berries. Another small, flying creature. I do not know them and I assume they do not know me, so I immediately freeze, trying not to be seen or heard. They are not much bigger than me, so I do not think they will try to eat me, but caution has taught me well over the years. It has kept me alive. This stranger looks all around as they eat, searching for any possible danger, no doubt. Nothing has ever tried to harm or hunt me in this bush, but I respect their fear. Caution is good. A stiff breeze blows through the bush, pushing aside a leaf. They see me, their black eyes losing their glare in the darkness of the bush. They see me, freeze, and fly away. Probably out of caution. They probably thought I was going to eat them. I wasn't, but they didn't know that. I wonder if I will see them again. I see a crawling thing on a branch near my face. I am a small creature, but this one is even smaller. It is black and bulbous and not much bigger than a seed. I eat it without hesitation. It is unfortunate that it was not as good at hiding as I am. If they were, I would not have seen it, and it would still be alive. Perhaps it was not as concerned about staying alive as I am. I fly away.

Later, after I have eaten my fill, I land in a tree in a wide space with many trees and much grass. Here, there are many large creatures walking around with each other. These creatures, I have noticed, are very peculiar. They are perhaps the most bold and suicidal things I have ever seen. They do not hide, they cannot fly, they do not move very fast, and they constantly sit out in the open, unboth-ered. Unaware. And, sometimes, even worse, alone. It is almost as if they do not fear. They have no caution. Are they not concerned about staying alive? What if something attacks them? What if something wishes to gather them? To eat them?

But, then, I have never seen a single one of them in danger, and I believe I have seen many things. And some-times, on occasion, one of them will notice me and do many strange things, but never have they chased me or hurt me. Am I beginning to think that, perhaps, they are not going to try to eat me. But, of course, it is good to be cautious. I will stay up here, in the trees, watching them foolishly walk about.

For I am a small creature, and I do not wish to die.

Toussaint